Since I dispelled those negative feelings through making them public, I have one request for you, the reader.
As anyone who is a regular reader of my work can contest, I'm really bad at self editing. I just read over my own words as how I want them to be, not how they actually are. So, dear reader, if you ever see a mistake, please don't be afraid to point it out. In fact, try reaching me by email at so I can fix my grammatical error for the good of all mankind.
I thank you in advance.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The Lesson of the Day
This weekend has been full of many lessons.
One lesson important lesson I learned is that it doesn't matter if you try to get as many of your friends as possible to see a movie. The rest of America just won't. They prefer to just watch the same old crappy action movie over and over again.
The other important lesson I learned, which I should have learned six months ago, is to never tell people you take fancy with any of your negative feelings. Always pretend everything is peachy. Fuck your depression. It doesn't matter. Bottle it up until you can't feel. Because putting up a front is better than letting guys or girls know how you feel.
Because knowing is half the battle.
(/snark)
One lesson important lesson I learned is that it doesn't matter if you try to get as many of your friends as possible to see a movie. The rest of America just won't. They prefer to just watch the same old crappy action movie over and over again.
The other important lesson I learned, which I should have learned six months ago, is to never tell people you take fancy with any of your negative feelings. Always pretend everything is peachy. Fuck your depression. It doesn't matter. Bottle it up until you can't feel. Because putting up a front is better than letting guys or girls know how you feel.
Because knowing is half the battle.
(/snark)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Scott Pilgrim's Overrated Girlfriend: Why Scott Shouldn't End Up with Ramona Flowers
Warning: Spoilers for up to Volume 5. You have been warned.
About this time next week, we'll all know how Scott Pilgrim ends. When Volume 6 comes out, canon will be canon, and the only hope alternative shippers is in fix fics and fan comics. Thus, this is the last chance to say what I want to say about the relationships of Scott Pilgrim without sounding like some crazy and bitter Harry/Hermonie shipper who, after the release of the Deathly Hallows, sent JKR death threats regarding how she ruined their OTP.. So while I still can, I must assert that I don't really want Scott to end up with Ramona.
Let me start off by saying that I don't detest the couple. They have had their moments, here and there. In fact, the entirety of volume 4 almost sold me on the relationship. However, there have been a couple consistent threads throughout Scott Pilgrim that have given me reason to think she's bad news.
One such thread is that the vast majority of her exes turned evil after her, or in some cases explicitly because of her. In the Matthew Patel flashback, we see him gritting his teeth in anger after Ramona dumps him. Lucas Lee sells out after Ramona cheated on him with Todd. (Todd, admittedly, is perhaps the only evil ex that we know was evil the whole damn time.) Roxanne's abrasive demeanor was suggested to stem from bitterness over comments that Ramona made about her. And let us not forget the twins, whose creepy twin act was directly born out the incident where she played them off each other.
Speaking of the twins, Ramona is very much so a hypocrite. Okay, what Scott did in volume 1 was fairly reprehensible, it wasn't nearly as bad as anything that she's done, given that she mutually cheated on a pair of brothers. She has little right to get as angry as she did at Scott. Besides, he at least ended it fairly quickly, where as with regards to Ramona, we still aren't sure if she really ended with Gideon.
Her still being involved with Gideon is a distinct possibility. Envy's suggestion in volume 3 hinted her work for Gideon was less than legitimate, and the journey into Ramona's mind during volume 4 gave me the feeling that Gideon was very controlling in the relationship. (She was sitting right next to him, like a pet.) Combined with Ramona's disappearance at the end of volume 5, we can probably guess that Gideon still has her around his finger.
But let's be honest, the main reason I don't ship Scott/Ramona is that I think he can do better. Let's see if you can guess who I'm thinking here.
Knives Chau? No. She's batshit insane and immature. Besides, she's probably going to end up with Stephen Stills in the end, so I think she's covered.
Wallace? Hey, look, Wallace already has a boyfriend. Besides Wallace is too awesome for Scott. Moving on...
Lisa? Okay, while I think she and Scott would make a very good couple, I think I should remind you that Scott ignored her in highschool for someone else. Someone snakier. And more talented. Someone with freckles and looks very good chained to a wall.
Yes, I'm a Kim Pine shipper, and I think I've been since the flashback sequence in volume 2. Kim is not only one of the funniest characters in the book, she's proven herself to be the most loyal, leagues above Ramona. Whereas Ramona has done very little to show that she cares for Scott, Kim did an extremely self sacrificing act during volume six in order to get him motivated enough to beat the twins. And even though she occasionally call Scott an idiot, or chews him out for doing something stupid, she has demonstrated a degree of faith in him that's missing from Ramona, which can be best summed up in her repeating mantra from volume 5, “Come on, he's Scott Pilgrim!” And judging by her behavior over the book, it's very obvious that she still has feelings for Scott, even though they broke it off in high school.
Now while I would prefer Scott/Kim, I know that series will end up with Ramona magically changing into a better person after Scott gives Gideon the beat down. I will have no choice but to accept it and smile at the end. But tell me, fellow Scott Pilgrim fans, who really deserves Scott? The person who has constantly cheats and turns people evil? Or the smart, sarcastic girl next door who is loyal till the end?
About this time next week, we'll all know how Scott Pilgrim ends. When Volume 6 comes out, canon will be canon, and the only hope alternative shippers is in fix fics and fan comics. Thus, this is the last chance to say what I want to say about the relationships of Scott Pilgrim without sounding like some crazy and bitter Harry/Hermonie shipper who, after the release of the Deathly Hallows, sent JKR death threats regarding how she ruined their OTP.. So while I still can, I must assert that I don't really want Scott to end up with Ramona.
Let me start off by saying that I don't detest the couple. They have had their moments, here and there. In fact, the entirety of volume 4 almost sold me on the relationship. However, there have been a couple consistent threads throughout Scott Pilgrim that have given me reason to think she's bad news.
One such thread is that the vast majority of her exes turned evil after her, or in some cases explicitly because of her. In the Matthew Patel flashback, we see him gritting his teeth in anger after Ramona dumps him. Lucas Lee sells out after Ramona cheated on him with Todd. (Todd, admittedly, is perhaps the only evil ex that we know was evil the whole damn time.) Roxanne's abrasive demeanor was suggested to stem from bitterness over comments that Ramona made about her. And let us not forget the twins, whose creepy twin act was directly born out the incident where she played them off each other.
Speaking of the twins, Ramona is very much so a hypocrite. Okay, what Scott did in volume 1 was fairly reprehensible, it wasn't nearly as bad as anything that she's done, given that she mutually cheated on a pair of brothers. She has little right to get as angry as she did at Scott. Besides, he at least ended it fairly quickly, where as with regards to Ramona, we still aren't sure if she really ended with Gideon.
Her still being involved with Gideon is a distinct possibility. Envy's suggestion in volume 3 hinted her work for Gideon was less than legitimate, and the journey into Ramona's mind during volume 4 gave me the feeling that Gideon was very controlling in the relationship. (She was sitting right next to him, like a pet.) Combined with Ramona's disappearance at the end of volume 5, we can probably guess that Gideon still has her around his finger.
But let's be honest, the main reason I don't ship Scott/Ramona is that I think he can do better. Let's see if you can guess who I'm thinking here.
Knives Chau? No. She's batshit insane and immature. Besides, she's probably going to end up with Stephen Stills in the end, so I think she's covered.
Wallace? Hey, look, Wallace already has a boyfriend. Besides Wallace is too awesome for Scott. Moving on...
Lisa? Okay, while I think she and Scott would make a very good couple, I think I should remind you that Scott ignored her in highschool for someone else. Someone snakier. And more talented. Someone with freckles and looks very good chained to a wall.
Yes, I'm a Kim Pine shipper, and I think I've been since the flashback sequence in volume 2. Kim is not only one of the funniest characters in the book, she's proven herself to be the most loyal, leagues above Ramona. Whereas Ramona has done very little to show that she cares for Scott, Kim did an extremely self sacrificing act during volume six in order to get him motivated enough to beat the twins. And even though she occasionally call Scott an idiot, or chews him out for doing something stupid, she has demonstrated a degree of faith in him that's missing from Ramona, which can be best summed up in her repeating mantra from volume 5, “Come on, he's Scott Pilgrim!” And judging by her behavior over the book, it's very obvious that she still has feelings for Scott, even though they broke it off in high school.
Now while I would prefer Scott/Kim, I know that series will end up with Ramona magically changing into a better person after Scott gives Gideon the beat down. I will have no choice but to accept it and smile at the end. But tell me, fellow Scott Pilgrim fans, who really deserves Scott? The person who has constantly cheats and turns people evil? Or the smart, sarcastic girl next door who is loyal till the end?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Not Wily's Castle
Okkusenman always gets me. Almost every time I watch that video, the original video, I cry. There is something sincere about it. The animation and the song lyrics depict a view of life that should remind I think everyone about the pains of growing up. Who doesn't remember imitating their favorite super hero? Who hasn't moved apart from friends, only to wonder what happened to them years after? Or am I the only one who has picked up a toy from childhood, wondering happened to the those simpler times?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
As I said, every time I get to the second recital of the chorus, when the protagonist sees himself as a little boy out the train window, I cry. I cry, because it reminds me of what I've lost to grow up. I think it's a universal loss.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
As I said, every time I get to the second recital of the chorus, when the protagonist sees himself as a little boy out the train window, I cry. I cry, because it reminds me of what I've lost to grow up. I think it's a universal loss.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Something I'm Writing
Okay folks, I haven't written here for a while. I actually haven't been writing much period. But I realize that's because I have some lingering feelings that I have to express and remove. So I've begun writing a little personal entry about events from six months ago.
What I'm writing I don't think will be quite suited for this space. It's not something I feel should be seen by the light of day. However, if any of you want of copy of it, just shoot me an email. Depending on who you are, I might give you a copy, I might not.
Expect more frequent updates to this dear blog of mine. I've neglected it, and I intend to show it the love it deserves.
Goodnight blog, goodnight world.
What I'm writing I don't think will be quite suited for this space. It's not something I feel should be seen by the light of day. However, if any of you want of copy of it, just shoot me an email. Depending on who you are, I might give you a copy, I might not.
Expect more frequent updates to this dear blog of mine. I've neglected it, and I intend to show it the love it deserves.
Goodnight blog, goodnight world.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Level 20
As 9:15 this morning, I had accumulated enough experience that I was no longer a mere teenager. Now I am twenty years old, starting a new decade, or maybe a new era, in my life.
I feel old.
In most pen and paper roleplayer games, or western RPG video games that ape their systems off D&D, level 20 tends to be the level cap. After that, new life experiences will no longer effect abilities. Going by that qualifier, I am done. I am who I am and will forever be.
Mass Effect 2 instead had the level cap be thirty. However after level twenty the amount of skill points afforded to the player seriously decreases: from two a level to one.
Though some might find this comparison to levels a case of overabstracting, I feel as if am faced with a truth. The amount I am able to learn at my age is considerably diminished, if not completely removed. My writing can improve, so can a lot of other things. But it's not like I can just pick up a new language now, and expect to learn it, like a child or even a lucky teenager can.
I also have to face the fact that I'm no longer a child anymore. As such, I have new responsibilities, and there are things I can no longer do.
I no longer have the hope of ever attending a prom. As of today, that experience is no longer afforded to me. That ship has forever sailed, though my chances of ever attending did diminish when I skipped my senior prom two years ago. (I have regrets).
To that point some of the last people I know from my high school are graduating today. Argo is now to become a foreign entity to me.
I no longer have the ability to claim teenager culture. Justin Beeber and Miley Cyrus are no longer a part of my domain. I count this loss as a blessing.
I am now one less teenage anime fan. That means I'm still an anime fan, but I have to list myself among those old farts who still watch the original Mobile Suit Gundam, which I do, and yell at youngins for watching Naruto and shows with Moe girls in them.
If it wasn't before, liking lolicon would be extremely creepy at my age. Thankfully, I can count that as one of the things I don't fap to.
On that note being twenty does have it's perks. Or perk, as the case may be. I can now stay out past eleven in the state of Illinois. Apparently, that was illegal here, for some reason.
Yet, I still can't drink, gamble, or rent an automobile. Well, legally, anyways. I'm still in draft range too. I'll be for awhile.
In two years time, I'm going to be out of college, unless I go to graduate school. The chance to be a young fuck up is starting to slip away. Soon, I will have to get a job, and live life in the confines society.
Damn, am I old.
Yet, a strange thing has occurred as of late. As old as I am, I notice things that filled my childhood are now being peddled to youngsters.
Last weekend, the fourth Shrek movie was released. The original came out when I was eleven years old. Assuming that the movie was targeted to children who were my age, to tykes as young as three, no one who in the target demographic when the first movie came out is a child anymore.
Then you think about Toy Story. The first movie came out when I was five. For the second, I was nine. Next month, the third Toy Story movie will come out. At this point, some of the kids who saw the original in theaters a decade and a half ago have children, who will be begging to take them to sequel to something that was part of their parent's childhood.
Then you think about what ABC Kids is doing now, and it's just baffling. Nearly twenty years after the original broadcast, the original Power Rangers is being aired. Sure it has stupid new special effects added in. But it's still the same show that captivated me when I was three years old, 17 years ago.
Every Saturday I turn it on, and I'm reminded how old I've gotten. In retrospect, a lot of seems really stupid. Bulk and Skull antics especially, though I've noticed one or two parental bonuses from them. That the green ranger 5 parter seemed scary to me then is astounding to me now. That Zordon would choose a group of “teenagers with attitudes,” instead of say, a highly trained group of fighters, seems like a decision based more on marketing than out of the wisdom of a interstellar entity.
It's also gotten really easy to spot the cheapness of the whole thing. Like, I can tell the parts that the American producers did themselves from the stock footage they took from Super Sentai shows. I can also spot that the mechazord looks like cheap toy.
But somehow, somewhere in me, is still the kid who was in love with the damn cheap costumes, the giant robot, and the poor dubbing. (Well, at least until I see one of those damn stupid new effects plastered over my precious childhood.) I guess as old as I get, the kid in me won't die completely. Heck, for completionists sake, I'm probably going to go see the new Shrek movie and the Toy Story 3 as well.
Growing up, after all, is overrated.
I feel old.
In most pen and paper roleplayer games, or western RPG video games that ape their systems off D&D, level 20 tends to be the level cap. After that, new life experiences will no longer effect abilities. Going by that qualifier, I am done. I am who I am and will forever be.
Mass Effect 2 instead had the level cap be thirty. However after level twenty the amount of skill points afforded to the player seriously decreases: from two a level to one.
Though some might find this comparison to levels a case of overabstracting, I feel as if am faced with a truth. The amount I am able to learn at my age is considerably diminished, if not completely removed. My writing can improve, so can a lot of other things. But it's not like I can just pick up a new language now, and expect to learn it, like a child or even a lucky teenager can.
I also have to face the fact that I'm no longer a child anymore. As such, I have new responsibilities, and there are things I can no longer do.
I no longer have the hope of ever attending a prom. As of today, that experience is no longer afforded to me. That ship has forever sailed, though my chances of ever attending did diminish when I skipped my senior prom two years ago. (I have regrets).
To that point some of the last people I know from my high school are graduating today. Argo is now to become a foreign entity to me.
I no longer have the ability to claim teenager culture. Justin Beeber and Miley Cyrus are no longer a part of my domain. I count this loss as a blessing.
I am now one less teenage anime fan. That means I'm still an anime fan, but I have to list myself among those old farts who still watch the original Mobile Suit Gundam, which I do, and yell at youngins for watching Naruto and shows with Moe girls in them.
If it wasn't before, liking lolicon would be extremely creepy at my age. Thankfully, I can count that as one of the things I don't fap to.
On that note being twenty does have it's perks. Or perk, as the case may be. I can now stay out past eleven in the state of Illinois. Apparently, that was illegal here, for some reason.
Yet, I still can't drink, gamble, or rent an automobile. Well, legally, anyways. I'm still in draft range too. I'll be for awhile.
In two years time, I'm going to be out of college, unless I go to graduate school. The chance to be a young fuck up is starting to slip away. Soon, I will have to get a job, and live life in the confines society.
Damn, am I old.
Yet, a strange thing has occurred as of late. As old as I am, I notice things that filled my childhood are now being peddled to youngsters.
Last weekend, the fourth Shrek movie was released. The original came out when I was eleven years old. Assuming that the movie was targeted to children who were my age, to tykes as young as three, no one who in the target demographic when the first movie came out is a child anymore.
Then you think about Toy Story. The first movie came out when I was five. For the second, I was nine. Next month, the third Toy Story movie will come out. At this point, some of the kids who saw the original in theaters a decade and a half ago have children, who will be begging to take them to sequel to something that was part of their parent's childhood.
Then you think about what ABC Kids is doing now, and it's just baffling. Nearly twenty years after the original broadcast, the original Power Rangers is being aired. Sure it has stupid new special effects added in. But it's still the same show that captivated me when I was three years old, 17 years ago.
Every Saturday I turn it on, and I'm reminded how old I've gotten. In retrospect, a lot of seems really stupid. Bulk and Skull antics especially, though I've noticed one or two parental bonuses from them. That the green ranger 5 parter seemed scary to me then is astounding to me now. That Zordon would choose a group of “teenagers with attitudes,” instead of say, a highly trained group of fighters, seems like a decision based more on marketing than out of the wisdom of a interstellar entity.
It's also gotten really easy to spot the cheapness of the whole thing. Like, I can tell the parts that the American producers did themselves from the stock footage they took from Super Sentai shows. I can also spot that the mechazord looks like cheap toy.
But somehow, somewhere in me, is still the kid who was in love with the damn cheap costumes, the giant robot, and the poor dubbing. (Well, at least until I see one of those damn stupid new effects plastered over my precious childhood.) I guess as old as I get, the kid in me won't die completely. Heck, for completionists sake, I'm probably going to go see the new Shrek movie and the Toy Story 3 as well.
Growing up, after all, is overrated.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
A Musing on Who
Sorry for not updating for two weeks, dear blog. It's been a bit weird. And busy. With papers and scripts and stories needing to be done. It's been very hectic as of late. I just haven't been afforded time to update you. However, there's been a lull in the action, and a thought just occurred to me, one I must get down.
Since this season of Doctor Who began, I've been a fan of Amy Pond. She;s been smart, sassy and sexy, not to mention I really, really like the sexual tension between her the 11th Doctor. I've been sincerely shipping them.
However, after this week's episode...I'm not so sure. I was somewhat put off by her actions in that they reminded me of a certain someone and a certain situation. I mean, I know this guy that Amy is supposed to marry is going to be set up as a total douche, or not as awesome as the Doctor at the very least, but her infidelity to her fiance and her inability to take accept “No” from the Doctor is totally reminiscent of what happened.. The Doctor's reaction was also similar to what happened, and I think that's what set me off.
Then again, the romantic development so far has been nice, so part of me still wants them to get together very badly. It's just that I've been the normal guy put up against an amazing guy, and it was not fun at all. In fact, it was very horrible. Situations like that are not as fun and clean in RL as they are on the telly.
In related and ironic news, I'm planning to cosplay as the Eleventh for Anime Central. I'm going to need to lose a little weight, and get another haircut, but I should be able to pull it off. I even have a Sonic Screwdriver. It is among the reasons why Acen is going to be totally awesome.
Now all I have to do is get through the next couple weeks. Then I'll be living it up, convention style, and I'll finally be able to write to you dear blog, without restraint.
Since this season of Doctor Who began, I've been a fan of Amy Pond. She;s been smart, sassy and sexy, not to mention I really, really like the sexual tension between her the 11th Doctor. I've been sincerely shipping them.
However, after this week's episode...I'm not so sure. I was somewhat put off by her actions in that they reminded me of a certain someone and a certain situation. I mean, I know this guy that Amy is supposed to marry is going to be set up as a total douche, or not as awesome as the Doctor at the very least, but her infidelity to her fiance and her inability to take accept “No” from the Doctor is totally reminiscent of what happened.. The Doctor's reaction was also similar to what happened, and I think that's what set me off.
Then again, the romantic development so far has been nice, so part of me still wants them to get together very badly. It's just that I've been the normal guy put up against an amazing guy, and it was not fun at all. In fact, it was very horrible. Situations like that are not as fun and clean in RL as they are on the telly.
In related and ironic news, I'm planning to cosplay as the Eleventh for Anime Central. I'm going to need to lose a little weight, and get another haircut, but I should be able to pull it off. I even have a Sonic Screwdriver. It is among the reasons why Acen is going to be totally awesome.
Now all I have to do is get through the next couple weeks. Then I'll be living it up, convention style, and I'll finally be able to write to you dear blog, without restraint.
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