The One I'm Looking For

I'm not one to believe in the concept of the one true love, or the perfect puzzle piece or any of that crap.

Yeah, even as a romantic as the idea is, hearing it brought up gets me annoyed. It looks good on paper, but reality is not so simple. Facts are that any of us could find several assortments of people and at the end of the day be perfectly content. The “one” is not needed, nor does he or she actually exist for a given person. Sometimes it just works out that way, as life isn't particularly well written, if it is at all. And if only we could be as lucky enough to be paired off by two by a benevolent author. As practical and fair as that would be, the idea has no utility in the real world, so I'm not delusional enough to obsess over the idea and waste my life trying to achieve it.

But even as the curmudgeon Machiavelli wannabe inside of me complains, it doesn't change the fact that the idea sounds nice. I mean, wouldn't life be great if things were truly that simple, if life really was like it's portrayed in fairy tales or on TV? The idea of the perfect person, is kinda like the idea of the perfect place. We know we can't create utopias IRL, but we can't stop making them up and trying to get reality as close to them as possible.

So as foolish as it may be, I've thinking about the “one” a lot the past couple days. I know it's very unlikely to exist, but she's nice to think about when you're single and alone. I feel she's also a good standard. Yes, no girl is ever going to live up to that impossibly high goal, but it does prevent one from choosing any Dick or Jane off the street. Which means at least one won't go into something that is diametrically opposite to what you're actually looking for.

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Let me start off by saying that my one true love is a complete romantic. My one true love is a reader of romance novels, and shoujo manga. She likes sweeping gestures of love, she wants marriage somewhere down the line. While she is open to anything, she's looking for a guy she can spend the rest of her life with.

But at the same time, I want her to be pragmatic. She knows relationships are tough and require a lot of work. She knows that not every guy she dates is Mr. Right. She knows she's unlikely to find me. But the important thing is that despite her deep knowledge in the world, she's at heart an optimist, and a little bit of an idealist. She's knows it's a long road, but she just knows that it's around the corner.

I want my girl to be an open book. I don't want her to be the kind of girl who keeps secrets, or lies to cover up the more embarrassing parts of her past. If she has a bad day, I don't want her to take it out on me, but expect that I am there to help, to make it all better. Likewise, I want a girl who is interested in my problems, who will be willing to hear me whine every once in a while, and when I'm truly in the dumps will wrap her arms around my neck while telling me everything will be all right.

My girl is physical. She will be close. We should be the kind of couple that spends every other night at each others house, because we a) don't live that far from each other, and we b) like being close. My perfect gal likes to be held, a lot. She also likes to hold. We are the couple that will fall asleep in each others arms every night, and wake up in the morning feeling cozy and warm. We will hold hands in public, and kiss in the movie theater. We shall be so close, so physically intimate, that the levels of oneness we shall achieve while cuddling will make sex will become jealous.

Sex will of course be important, though. My gal will be adventurous, have a large appetite, but sex shall not consume her. She may be a lovely virginal figure, adventurous and eager, willing to explore the frontier together with me as we both strive to get better to please one another. Or perhaps she's at the other end of the spectrum: a gal with experience, who loves teaching and likes to be called sensei. But the most important thing is that she has patience. Not “waiting till we get married patience”, of course, but instead the kind of patience that's willing to understand that sometimes I fuck up, and realizes that it's okay.

She has to be accepting. Of me, my newness, my awkwardness, and even me when I'm somber. She doesn't need to fix my problems, I don't expect her to. I just want to know she has my back.

I want her to be smart. She should be well educated, interested in, and ready to talk about a variety of subjects. We don't need to be into the same things, but she should have a passion for something. Something she can on about forever, even when it grates my nerves. And she must be willing to listen to me as I am able to listen to her.

The gal for me believes that gender rules should be boned. She believes in the first amendment, all of it, even the parts that don't particularly jive with her religion, or lack thereof. She may believe or not, but she should agree that extremists are stupid, even on her side.

My soulmate should love kids. Not be so enthused about having some at the moment, after all we're both young, but excited at the idea. She wants three, two boys and a girl. I want the ratio flipped, of course, and we'll playfully argue about which one is more likely to happen. We shall pick out names, some serious, some silly. One of our children will end up with a silly one, because we are funny like that.

My perfect girl wants me, and me especially. She finds other guys cute, and may even feel tempted every once in a while, but at the end of the day, she loves me the most, just as I love her.

I will never find her, but as I'm young, it doesn't hurt to look, right?

PS: Sorry if I haven't been as ranting as you guys were probably expecting me to, but I must be honest, I'm not sure how good the rant I wrote tonight about the genre ghetto is. I got to give it a look in morning and decide then. You know, tommorow.

Anyways, good night blog. Good night world.